From Overwhelm to Empowered: My Journey as an ADHD Coach and Mom

The Firefighting Years

There was a time when every day felt like firefighting.Mornings were rush–forget–rush. Afternoons were meltdowns and guilt. Evenings were endless “what ifs.” I kept thinking, If I can just fix this one thing, tomorrow will be easier. I tried to fix school misunderstandings, big feelings, nutrition, routines—mostly, I tried to fix myself.

All parents around me seemed to have read an invisible manual on how things work —and I was reading the footnotes in another language.

I didn’t have a language for what we were living. I only had a feeling: We are working so hard… why does it still feel so heavy?

The Turning Point: Understanding, Not Fixing

My shift began the day I stopped asking, “How do I fix this?” and started asking, “What is actually happening in the brain?” Learning about ADHD reframed our world:

• What looked like defiance was often dysregulation.

• What looked like laziness was usually burnout or executive overload.

• What looked like chaos was a nervous system saying, “I need connection before I can perform.”

Coaching training gave me structure and language for what my heart already knew. I didn’t need a perfect system. I needed Calm–Connection–Confidence—in that order.

• Calm: regulate first; nothing sticks to a storm.

• Connection: relationship safety before correction or teaching.

• Confidence: small wins, clear agreements, progress over perfection.

When I began to respond from calm instead of react from fear, our home changed. My child didn’t become a different person—I did. And that invited different answers from him, too.

The Everyday Practice (Not Perfection)

People often ask, “So… is it all smooth now?” No. We still have messy mornings and sideways afternoons. The difference is we have a manual now—one that fits our family.

Here’s what it looks like most days:

• We scale tasks to the brain that’s in the room. If energy is low, we shrink the step.

• We front-load connection: a smile, a touch, a silly question. Then we ask for the thing.

• We externalize what’s easy to forget: timers, visual checklists, “parking lots” for ideas.

• We repair quickly: “That was hard. I got loud. I’m sorry. Let’s reset.”

• We celebrate tiny wins like they’re championships—because for ADHD brains, they are.

This is not about perfect routines or flawless behavior. It’s about relationship and regulation—and trusting that skill-building happens when nervous systems feel safe.

The Expat Layer: Why Awareness Must Include Context

Raising an ADHD child abroad means navigating different school cultures, evaluation paths, and support systems. It means translating not just language, but expectations. If you’re an expat parent, your overwhelm isn’t a failure—it’s a math problem: more steps, fewer cues, less informal help.

Awareness Month often focuses on labels and facts. Those matter. But what families really need is understanding within context: How does ADHD meet this country’s school system? This teacher? This bus schedule? This family’s culture and values?

From Overwhelm to Empowered

Today, when a parent whispers to me, “I feel like I’m failing,” I see my old self. I don’t hand them a perfect plan. I offer a path:

1. Calm — regulate first (body, breath, environment).

2. Connection — see the child behind the behavior.

3. Confidence — choose one tiny action that’s winnable today.

That’s what “empowered” means to me: not controlling every variable, but trusting our capacity to respond with clarity and care. Progress over perfection. Relationship over rules. Nervous system first.

A Note for ADHD Awareness Month

ADHD Awareness Month isn’t just statistics or slogans. It’s our stories. It’s the moment you realize your child isn’t broken—they’re brilliantly wired, and they need a different doorway. It’s the moment you realize you aren’t failing—you’re carrying more than most people see.

Awareness opens the door. Understanding builds the bridge. And practice—small, compassionate, consistent—carries us across.

If You’re Here, You’re Not Alone

If this resonates, I created my coaching work to be the support I wish I’d had: warm, practical, and grounded in real life abroad. I share simple tools for Calm–Connection–Confidence that you can use the same day.